I know that I have previously written on my struggle to work on maintaining my weight, as well as some of the body and confidence issues that go along with that.

We shall count today's journal entry as yet another one of those.

Within the next two months, August 8th I believe, will the the fifth year milestone of living a keto lifestyle.

Before that, I remember sitting in my office chair and watching these amazing transformation videos of people. It always felt a little hypocritical of myself when I did this. There I sat, three hundred thirty plus pounds, knowing that I would never be able to be one of those with a success story of my own.

Within weeks of starting keto, I knew that I wanted nothing more than to just be down a hundred pounds after one year.

Well, I like to say that I basically turned that whole change into a game: how large of a calorie restriction could I maintain, how close to zero net carbs could I average?

I blew way past that hundred pounds loss within that year and was already very close to my current weight already.

My lowest weight was in the 168 pound ballpark. I'm a six foot two plus guy, and I know for a fact that that was too low. I did not look good.

I have slowly worked back up to low 190s. Insofar as health goes, I know that's perfectly acceptable.

But. Mentally, it is not good enough for me. I want 180s. For my mind, where I'm at is just too close to 200. I don't want to be there again.

So, I know that I dropped the weight (I don't like to say I lost it, because I really don't want to find it again) really quickly. Probably not super healthily either. However, I have managed in many ways to change my relationship with food.

I never really ate my feelings. It was more out of boredom than anything. Now, I really try to enjoy the feeling of looking better and use the extra time to read or work on some other self development process.

If I have missed anything at all during this life change, it's that my hair is no longer thick and composed of ringlets (think Weird Al hair). That's about the only thing I miss. But, it could be age related as well.

Today has been a good day, thus far, when it comes to food. Here's to keeping on.

This is post 5/100 of my #100DaysToOffload posts. You can read the other posts in this series here.

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Published 20 Jun 2024